Many parents ask “how can I make sure my children are confident and successful?”. At the core of a confident person is the belief that “I am able”, “I can do this” or “I am good”. One of the keys to raising confident children is to help children to develop a sense of self-efficacy.
In simple terms, you build self-efficacy through accomplishing things and doing things on your own. To help build this, never do for a child what they can do for themselves. Never is a strong word but if you err closer to never than always you are teaching your child that they can do for themselves, they are capable and they can figure their own problems out.
Children are always making decisions that shape their personality. Decisions become beliefs. Children are making decisions about:
- Who they are (good or bad, capable or not capable)
- What the world is like (safe or threatening)
- What they need to do to survive or to thrive (based on decisions above)
My challenge to you: Try to draw out children’s own sense of resourcefulness. Encourage them to take risks and try things on their own so they can build up a reserve of confidence from all of their successes!
If you have concerns about your child’s self esteem play therapy with a trained professional can help you and your child learn to foster positive self esteem.