Everyone has conflict in life. It is natural for us to have some conflict and arguments with others. Do you ever find yourself struggling to identify the root of a conflict?
Angeles Arrien, author of “The Four Fold Way” suggests 3 reasons for conflict:
- Not saying what we mean
- Not doing what we say
- Not saying what is so when it is so
Here are some ideas for each of the reasons for conflict above I recommend you consider when working to solve conflict you may be having.
Not saying what we mean
- Speak your truth! Get clear on your intention; ask yourself “what is my goal here?” Once you have that figured out work to speak your truth without blame or judgment.
Not doing what we say
- If you commit to something, honor those commitments or communicate changes that may occur. When you don’t follow through on what you say you do, you damage the relationship. Trust or lack thereof can cause immeasurable damage to any relationship. Be a person of your word.
Not saying what is so when it is so
- Don’t hold back truths out of fear. Get clear on your goal/intent and say what is so with love and care. When we communicate concerns or issues, we cast light on them and without light it can be hard to find the way out of any problem.
For more information on “The Four Fold Way” and ideas for how to apply the principles to your life, check out our Relationship and Personal Growth page.